I'm moving to Florida in about two weeks!!! Ahhh!! Through the years I've dreamed of leaving PA, but now that it's almost here I can't really believe that I'm leaving. I don't like where I live, it's nothing personal...I've just never felt like I truly belonged here. High school was a nightmare for me. I'd come home crying and daydream about moving to New York City or California. I would plan in my head how I'd finally stick up for myself and I'd plan all the mean things I'd say to the bullies before leaving. Now that it's really happening and I'm really leaving to go fulfill all my dreams, I have nothing but nice things to say. I have no urge to say anything bad about anyone who has done me wrong through out my life.
I've come to realize if I had never encountered the mean people in high school, or that guy that broke my heart, or just a simple rude comment from a stranger, I wouldn't be who I am right now. I would have never had the confidence to apply for the Disney College Program. I would have never had the strength to chase my dreams. I would have never had the courage to want something else, something better, than this.
For the longest time I was super afraid to even admit I was bullied in high school, but I'm not anymore. I want to be able to help someone who might be going through what I went through. I want t0 let people know it gets better if you make it better. You are in charge of how your life turns out....don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. Don't let anyone tell you your dreams are dumb or unrealistic. That's bullshit. I know I might be judged because I've been bullied, but no matter what I do there will be people who judge. The people that will accept you are the people that are worth being friends with.
One of my favorite movies is Eat Pray Love staring Julia Roberts. That movie (and the book that I am still reading) truly inspired me. In the movie there is this scene where Julia Roberts is in India talking to a friend about her ex who she is still in love with and she says, "But I miss him." And her friend says, "Then miss him. Send him light and love every time you think about him. Then drop it." Yes that quote is about getting over someone, but you can also use it to get over anything else like past grudges or pent up anger. If you are angry at someone then be angry. Allow yourself to be angry at whatever that person did. Yet, don't say negative things back. I believe if you only send out negative things in life, you will only get negative things back. Send them "light and love" then fucking drop it. Don't dwell on the anger for days, weeks, or even years later. Holding onto the anger won't change anything. The point I'm trying to make is, I've let go of the anger I had been holding dearly for the people from my past. There is no point in packing it up and bringing it to Florida. Actually, you shouldn't even bring it with you into tomorrow.
I will never forget my past, but I refuse to be upset or angry over it ever again. I am so thankful for the good people I've met so far in my life. They helped me through the not so great times and made the great times even better!
****SIDE NOTE***So a lot has happened since my last post. Between the Holidays and getting a bad virus on my computer I haven't had the time or ability to post anything new. The virus was so bad that I had to completely wipe everything from my computer, so all the pictures I had from my bleaching experience are now gone. (I will be doing another post about how my hair turned out and what I did to get it to the blond it is now, when I have the chance to take new pictures)
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